we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Randomize
