that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
I just gift wrapped bread.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Randomize
