do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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