i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
