Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
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