Me too!
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Holy sore nipples Batman
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
