think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
