So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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