sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
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