I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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