i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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