soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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