my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
