I want to have your abortion
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
When are your genitals available?
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
