dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
