are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
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