I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Randomize
