The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Randomize
