i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
we're so committed to being not committed
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
