WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
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