so that wasnt chicken after all
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
