Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
