Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
