i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
