From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize
