This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Randomize
