I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
