Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
