did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize
