HIV tests are more positive than that guy
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
