I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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