no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I can't trust your balls anymore.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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