the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
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