Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
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