We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
