Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
