Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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