i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
her facebook's as public as her vagina
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Randomize
