They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
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