you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize
