I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
My balls are so social today.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
