Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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