It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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