Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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