he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
