I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Randomize
