they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
