I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
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