She's JV to your varsity
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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