If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
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