So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Randomize
